Lighter!

September 21st, 2005 | by jg3 |

I have lost a lot of weight today. I guess the filing cabinet was about sixty or seventy pounds; the aquarium was at least that much if you include the stand, probably more; and two telephones are not in my landfill or on the conscience. Awesome. The best part is that everyone who has taken my possessions has been generally happy, even excited to own them. Besides that, I have a few (a very, very few) extra bucks in my pocket and I know a new joke.

My ad on craigslist:

Cordless Phone 2.4 Gigahertz Panasonic - $2
Here I have a model KX-TG210 cordless phone made by Panasonic. It is silver in color and comes with the AC power supply. It has a speakerphone and intercom and speed dial function. If you need a phone, you need this one.

Two bucks … or best offer. I’ll give it to you for free if you tell me a good joke. Come pick it up in Merrifield or email for other arrangement.

The winning response:

Hi,

I need a phone badly. I will appreciate if you can give me your phone.
I will buy this today. You can call me at 202-xxx-nnnn (day) or
412-xxx-nnnn (evening).

I have a great joke for you.

Thanks. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Darshan

How was I born?

The little boy asks his father - “Daddy, how was I born?”

Dad responds, “Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway… Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room
on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a
download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: You’ve Got
Male .


Update: I got a new, better joke the next day…

Subject: This must be in Europe

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar. She
raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit. She pointed to all
the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady
a drink?”

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the
end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter
and bellowed, “Give the ballerina a drink!”

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned
to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the
same hairy armpit, and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and
said, “Give the ballerina another drink!”

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, “You know, it’s
your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep
calling her the ballerina?’”

“As far as I’m concerned”, the drunk replied, “any woman who can lift
her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!”

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